In Which I Go Back to Being a Blonde

I bobbed my hair and it was looking kind of drab with my dishwater blonde/brown color, so I have gone back to being a blonde. (Well, sort of. I forgot how long it takes to actually go blonde in a way that is safe for your hair. It will take the whole dang summer.)  It is more fun, yes, but also more of a pain in the ass. I forgot how blonde hair is a signal, much like wearing a dress, that no matter what the wearer looks like, construction workers should hoot, whistle, and shout suggestive things in the hair’s general direction.  There is a lot of construction going on around my home and my work.  I also wear a lot of dresses. You can imagine the level of hooting.  Today a construction worker told me, “Baby, those are some shoes.” He was not looking at my shoes.

I also forgot how you have to wear less makeup when you are blonde. I put on my usual bright red lipstick and I looked just like a Kewpie doll.  It’s been so long that I don’t even have any non-bright lipsticks anymore and I had to wear Cherry chapstick instead. This, I know, seems like not-really-a-giant-tragedy in the general world order of things, but trust me, it was highly upsetting. You think I am kidding but really I’m not. I am vain and I need my goddamn lipstick. I will have to visit Sephora and soon.