An AWP 2011 Edition Guide to DC for People Who Like to Eat and Drink and Aren’t Painfully Cool

January 31, 2011 — 2 Comments

You’ve no doubt read a lot of the guides and blogs and notes people have been posting about DC. And most of those people are, no doubt, super cool. Like, painfully cool. So, in solidarity with people like myself, here is an insider’s guide to DC for not-super-cool but still youngish-and-not-completely-old-fogyish people. Those of us who just like to be comfortable, eat, drink, hang with friends.

I’m 32 and married, and my body’s feeling the abuse of past years, so, you know, my clubbing and serious partying days are long long gone. The things I really like to do involve going to bookstores, eating, hanging out with friends, and drinking. Occasionally going to a show, if I really want to see the band. That’s about it. I like townie bars and cheap mom and pop ethnic food restaurants. I like ripped seats in my bars, and I don’t like scenes in my bookstores–I prefer to actually look at books. I like quiet, and I hate waiting in long lines to get into a restaurant or bar. So, if that stuff really isn’t your thing; if you’re more into, say, drinking fancy drinks in the kinds of bars that celebrities hang out in, or eating at the latest four star white tableclothy restaurant, then probably you shouldn’t read any further. Just sayin’.

Also, I’ve tried to keep most of this central to where AWP is happening–but not all of it because a)DC is a really, really tiny city. Seriously. and b)public transportation here, while maddening sometimes, is quite extensive and as a last resort, unlike NYC, you can pretty much always catch a cab.

Do’s and Don’ts

• DO NOT wear your conference badge or name tag outside of the conference. We get LOTS of conferences and most of them are full of really annoying tourists, so that lanyard is a great way to ID you from far away and decide to treat you like an utter moron.
• DO stand to the right, walk to the left on the Metro or people may kill you. Know how to work your metro pass ahead of time so you don’t jam the line, especially at rush hour. And please, for the love of jesus, don’t take pictures of the metro escalators. We really, really hate that. Give yourself plenty of time if you’re taking the Red Line anywhere, which you will be. DC Metro has no money and something is always breaking down and it’s usually on the Red Line, causing massive delays and irritation.
• DO NOT ask directions of any group of grown men playing dice in the street or alley, or sitting or standing around a van parked in a deserted parking lot during the middle of the day.
• DO bring CASH for cabs! They do not have credit card readers which is both infuriating and aggravating but like most things about DC, no one will fix this. DC cabs used to charge by zone which was a great way to rip off drunk tourists, but now they charge by the mile like everywhere else.
• DO NOT assume that if the sign says “Mexican”, it really is. Mexican food is not actually Mexican in DC. It’s actually Salvadoran, most of the time. Or Salvadoran attempts at Mexican food. I would recommend skipping it, especially if you come from anywhere that actually has authentic Mexican eats.
• DO NOT hang around outside of bars in Adams Morgan or Dupont Circle at 2 in the morning drunk as shit and loudly and obviously looking at your map. You will get mugged, and you will totally deserve it.
• DO relax. Crime in DC, aside from petty theft and car break-ins, is pretty much gang-related and drug-related. Are you in a gang? Do you plan to buy drugs here? No? Then you’ll probably be fine. Just be smart, don’t hang out in out of the way  places looking like a tourist, and know where you’re going and how you’re getting there ahead of time.

Where to Eat

There are lots of good eats in DC. We have people and food from all over the world here, so take advantage! In Cleveland Park/Woodley Park/Adams Morgan/Dupont, where you’ll probably be, there are a million good restaurants. And luckily for you, eating is pretty much my favorite activity, next to drinking, reading, and sleeping, so I’ve got lots of experience in this department.

For cheaper but delicious food some of my favorites are: Meskerem (Ethiopian), Open City (Americanish), Himalayan Heritage (Himalayan/Tibetan), Thaiphoon (Thai, duh), Vace (Italian deli-style, no eating in, great pizza), Tono Sushi (Japanese) and Ray’s Hellburger, which, okay, is in Arlington but still close and the best damn burgers I’ve ever had. Matchbox in Chinatown is always a long wait but has excellent pizza for not that much. Sichuan Pavillion is on K street and has the best Chinese you can get in DC and it’s dirt cheap. (Outside of DC is another story, but since you won’t have a car let’s not worry about that.) There are also food carts all over DC, so keep a look out for some good, cheap burritos or salad or falafels or whatever.

If you’re willing to fork out a little more, and willing to travel a little further in some cases, you can eat at some of my favorite favorite restaurants in DC. Downtownish there’s Acadiana (Cajun/Creole), in Chinatown/Penn Quarter (just a quick ride away on the Red Line) there’s Jaleo (Spanish tapas) and Rasika (Indian, and my favorite restaurant  in DC. You’ve never had Indian like this), Las Canteras (Peruvian) in Adams Morgan, Palena and Ripple in Cleveland Park (New American), and Etete (Ethiopian) over near U Street.

Where to Drink

Recessions on K Street is divey, cheap, and anonymous, and has an awesome happy hour. My favorite bar is The Raven, in Mt. Pleasant, but it’s tough to get to so you might want to cab it if you’re really intrepid. The Pharmacy Bar in Adams Morgan is another favorite, small and dark and friendly. The Black Squirrel, also in Adams Morgan, has the best damn beer on tap but be prepared to pay kind of a lot. And Toledo Lounge in Adams Morgan may not look so exciting from the outside but it’s a cozy, boothy favorite. The 4Ps (where I’ll be reading on Thursday!) is a giant Irish bar, in Cleveland Park.  Busboys and Poets is further away but is hip and fun and has good food and drinks as well as books and literate-type people. Tryst is cozy and you can curl up on a couch and drink coffee, too. Gay bars, either Cobalt or JR’s, in Dupont Circle.

Books!

These are my favorites though there are more:

Politics and Prose is hands down my favorite bookstore in DC–it’s hard to get to, though, since it’s not really metro accessible or at least, it’s quite a walk from nearest Metro stop. But it’s worth a visit if you have time and cab fare or a friend with a car, or time to take the bus. It’s big and stocks a nice variety of lit mags and tons of books on (what else) politics, the staff is really nice and passionate about books, plus really nicely curated fiction section and more. I love it.

Kramerbooks is pretty good–they have a pretty good selection, and the staff are knowledgable, so if I know exactly what I need I can go grab it quickly–but oh my god I can’t stand it there sometimes because it’s TOO FUCKING CROWDED! This is not Kramerbooks’ fault, I want to make this clear–but the space is tiny and there are all these dumb DC hipsters desperately trying to hitting on one another and standing in front of any single book you want to look at because all the guidebooks say “this is the place to meet other smart singles,” and after a while you just want to get out of there because you’re so claustrophobic and so irritated at the non-book-related activities jamming up the place.

Busboys and Poets. Progressive, lots of great events and readings, great staff, plus good food and good bar and music. Can’t go wrong here. But it’s not someplace I get to a lot, sadly, since it’s kind of a pain to get to from my place. I’m more apt to drive up the street to Politics and Prose most days than switch Metro lines to get over to B&P.

Borders on K Street. Yes, it’s a Borders, but a pretty damn good Borders and they have a gigantic fiction selection and excellent history section at this one. If you can’t find it at another bookstore, and you gotta shop chain, this is the place to go.

Other

The National Zoo (which is right across the street from my apartment–wave and say hello!) and which is a really great zoo that funds all kinds of important wildlife rescue efforts and happens to have NEW BABY LION CUBS THAT ARE THE CUTEST THING THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN.

The Hirschhorn is a great modern art museum. The Phillips Collection is excellent, also. The Spy Museum is fun but costly. The National Portrait Gallery is neat, as is the Library of Congress. The National Mall sucks balls and I apologize for its ugliness in advance. We have no money to make it not ugly. All the other touristy stuff, you have guidebooks to tell you about. Some of it is cool but I’ve been to all of it so many times I never want to discuss it again.

Welcome to DC! If you’re from the south or the west, it’s really cold so bring a warm coat and lots of sweaters. And sensible shoes. If you’re from the midwest you’ll be fine. In fact you’ll laugh at the mildness of our winters.

And feel free to email or comment or whatever with questions, if you have them. Have fun! Hope to see you here, soon.